Doctor's Appointment
by kutnermd5
Summary: Scout seems to have come down with a cold, but he'd much rather deal with that than go through with his alternative – seeking the Medic for assistance. Rated T for Scout's potty mouth.


Doctor's Appointment

-The BLU base-

_'Cough cough—hack!'_

The ones next to him wasted no time in scooting their plates of food away from the sick young man. The Scout didn't take notice, however - or if he did, he didn't say anything about it. Which was strange – the youngest merc was _always_ talking. Something was definitely wrong, and everyone on the team could tell.

Scout supposed he should eat the food in front of him – Engineer's food _was_ the best, after all – but he just wasn't hungry. Right now, all he wanted to do was sleep. He was tempted to offer his meal to someone else, but 1) he was sick and no one would even look at his plate with interest, and 2) even if he wasn't sick, he didn't like giving his stuff to anyone. About five minutes passed before he gave up on staring at his food, and got up with his plate in hand. After putting whatever he had in bags for later, he left his plate in the sink, too tired to wash it, and started to head out.

As he started to walk out, however, a hand from the table shot out right in front of him, stopping the runner in his tracks. He paused for a second, staring at the thing obstructing his path, then made his way around it. Though, Scout didn't get very far before the hand grabbed onto his arm. He weakly tried shrugging it off, but wasn't very successful. Finally, whoever was keeping hold of him peeked his head away from the table to look at him.

It was the Medic, mouth full with the food he was still in the middle of chewing, which he soon swallowed. Now the Scout _really_ wanted to go back to his room. "You are sick?" the doctor asked, though it was more of a statement than an actual question. Scout tried stifling a cough that was threatening to come up.

"Yeah. So?" he answered, his voice a bit hoarse. That had to be the most painful thing - he liked talking, and he liked his voice – having to hear it sound all gravelly and hurt his throat every time he spoke made him absolutely miserable.

The Medic rose an eyebrow. "Und are you planning to get zat fixed?"

"Uh... yeah, latah."

Though he tried to keep his voice low, Scout could hear his other teammates snickering at the sound of it. He couldn't tell whether the heat in his cheeks was from embarrassment or because he just felt plain awful. Medic sighed and rolled his eyes.

"You _know_ ze Administrator von't be happy if she sees you slacking off during battle," he reminded. The mention of the evil woman sent a shiver down Scout's spine. "Go to ze infirmary und vait for me zhere. I should be vith you in a little vhile."

With that, the doctor let go of his arm and turned back to his food. Scout nodded without really thinking, then quickly made his way out. He headed in the direction of his room, and passed by the infirmary on the way. He stopped in front of it, staring at the big white doors adorned with blue crosses in contemplation.

And then he walked right past them, ignoring the Medic's orders. Like hell he was going to go in there and have the world's worst doctor 'cure' his sickness. Knowing him, Medic would probably make him even sicker, and laugh at him as he did. Scout decided he could wait his sickness out – he felt terrible, but not terrible enough to see a doctor.

Instead, he went back to his room, and tried to fall asleep. That didn't work out too well, as he just couldn't get his nose to stop running, and it distracted him. He tried reading a book that he'd dug out, but couldn't pay attention to it if his life depended on it. Granted, that might have been because he managed to pick out possibly the most boring book in existence. It was when he was adding another doodle to his wall that he heard a rather loud knock on his door.

"Scout! Get out here now!"

It was then, Scout realized, that it had been at least an hour since he had left the dining hall. The Medic had probably already been to his infirmary and seen that his supposed-to-be patient wasn't waiting there like he had been told. It was also then that he realized that he didn't lock his door. He unconsciously cussed out loud, before he flung himself off of his bed, and hid under it, hoping the German would just go away after not finding him.

Scout managed to get completely under before the door was opened, and the Medic stepped inside. "Scout? I know you're in here."

_'No, I'm not – go away!'_ was what the Scout wanted to say, but he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. He just listened for the doctor's footsteps, and moved around accordingly as quietly as he could. While down there, he noticed he had a lot of dust under his bed that he _really_ needed to clean out. He made a mental decision to do so once Medic left. For now, he waited with all the patience he could muster... Damn it, why did he have to sneeze?

Medic was checking the closet when Scout's nose decided to give up on him. With that, and a dead giveaway grunt of frustration from the younger merc, the doctor was easily able to find him. When he pulled the covers away from the bottom of the bed, he was met with a rather annoyed-looking Scout. "Do you normally hide under beds vhen you are sick?" he questioned just for the hell of it.

"Fuck you," was his only reply. Medic tsked lightly, before standing back up.

"Such language," he scolded. "Now get out. Ve have vork to do."

Scout groaned, but complied. There was no way he could really get out of his predicament – or maybe there was a way, but his sickness-addled brain couldn't come up with it. And besides, maybe it wouldn't be all that bad. Maybe he could talk the Medic into giving him a lollipop afterwards – he _knew_ he had them. Perhaps nothing would go wrong during this doctor's appointment, and it would go like a regular, routine checkup.

…

Something was going to go wrong during this doctor's appointment. The Scout knew it the moment he stepped into the infirmary. This would be bad, this was _not_ going to go like a regular, routine check up, something was going to happen that shouldn't happen, and he wouldn't even get his lollipop afterward! He could already feel the knives and needles Medic would be prodding him with. They had just entered the room – maybe he still had enough time to make a break for it-

"Take a seat, Scout," Medic told him, and he couldn't force himself to disobey. The doctor started shuffling through a nearby cabinet, pulling out multiple items. His doves were there, all watching with curiosity. "So vhat's vrong vith you?"

"Why do you care?" Scout retorted. "You nevah do, any othah time."

"Oh, I don't." Medic stuck a thermometer into the younger merc's mouth. "I just don't vant ze entire team getting sick as vell."

Scout rolled his eyes as the doctor pulled the glass stick out and examined it. "I'm coughing and sneezing a lot," he decided to answer, frowning at his horrific sounding voice. "'nd my throat feels like shit- ow! The hell was that for?!"

For Medic had slapped him upside the head. "It's not necessary to curse every two seconds."

"Whatevah."

Medic pulled over a small blood pressure machine, and strapped it to Scout's arm. "You have a temperature," he explained. After a few seconds, he pulled the strap off and looked at the screen, simultaneously using his stethoscope to listen to the runner's breathing. "Und your blood pressure's low as vell, but zat's probably because you didn't eat earlier."

After an entire hour of not eating at breakfast, Scout still hadn't grown hungry. He tapped his fingers on his arm impatiently. "So can you fix it, or 'm I just wastin' my time?" he questioned. To that, Medic just laughed.

"Of _course_ I can fix it!" he answered. "It's just a little cold, not cancer. In fact, I have just ze zhing for you." With that, the doctor all but pranced around his desk, and scrimmaged through another cabinet.

"Couldja hurry up? I got things to do."

"Patience, my dear little Scout, patience." A few more seconds of shuffling through different medical supplies, and the Medic finally turned around with something in his hand. "Ah! Here it is!"

"Holy Jesus!"

Intertwined within Medic's fingers was what had to be the _largest_ needle the Scout had ever seen. And the doctor just stared down at it with a smile only a true psychopath could accomplish, chuckling to himself as he rounded back to the patient beds. Instinctively, Scout backed away as far as he could.

"You are _not_ comin' anywhere near me with dat thing!" he exclaimed, scooting to the very edge of his bed. If he didn't want to run away before, he _definitely_ wanted to, now.

"Oh, don't be such a baby – it's just a flu shot," Medic replied so dismissively, like this was the easiest thing in the world.

"'Just a flu shot', my ass! Dat thing's from hell!" Maybe it was a bad idea to yell so much, so loudly – his throat was burning, and if he wasn't busy scaring the pants off himself, he would be very embarrassed by the sound of the words coming from his mouth. With his now quickened breaths, he found himself coughing a lot more than he was before.

"But if you don't take it, how are you planning to get better before ze veekend ends?" Medic must have taken notice of his intensing symptoms.

"I'll suffah through it!"

Medic shook his head. "Scout, I assure you zat zhis vill be quick und painless... well, mostly." By now, he was at Scout's side, taking hold of his arm. But the runner immediately pulled away. "You know, ze more you avoid it, ze longer you have to stay here."

"Cantcha just use your medigun or somethin'?!"

"If you were bleeding out, yes. My gun heals injuries, not sickness."

Scout frowned, but eventually sat back down, albeit tensely. He was about to let Medic take hold of his arm again, but then he caught sight of the giant syringe in his hand, and unconsciously jumped again. "No-no! I-I can't do it! No way!" In a second, Scout was on his feet and backing away.

"It's just a needle, Scout," Medic tried to say.

"Yeah, and I hate needles! 'specially _yours_! Why do they hafta be so freakin' big?!"

"Intimidation purposes." Medic held his free hand out calmly, only a small twinkle of evil sprinkled in his eye. The rest of his emotions contained growing impatience. "But I can see zat it's done its purpose, so I vould appreciate if you vould kindly cooperate."

"And what if I don't?"

A small snicker escaped the doctor's throat. "Vell, I normally only use restraints for testing on victims, but I suppose I can make zhis an exception—Scout! Come back here, _now!_"

The moment Scout had heard the word 'restraints', he bolted right through the double infirmary doors, as fast as he could. He heard Medic's call for him, but didn't stop running. "Hell no! You're _crazy!_"

On a whim, he turned his head to look behind him, and caught sight of the doctor trying to run after him. To this, Scout couldn't help but laugh. The Medic was fast, second to his own speed – but the old hag would never catch up to the runner. He was already out of the BLU base by now, and he kept going. Anything to put as much distance between him and that psychopath. Though, Scout made it as far as the bridge before he doubled over, coughing. Running so fast had taken a toll on his lungs, and soon he found it hard to breathe. It took him at least a minute to recover, and that was all the time and more that Medic needed to catch up.

He stood over his patient with his hand on his hip and an annoyed expression staining his face. "Are you done?" he questioned sardonically. Scout didn't reply – just coughed some more. Medic sighed, grabbed the runner's arm, and dragged him all the way back to the infirmary, the doors of which he made sure to lock.

Scout sat tiredly back on the bed, eying the Medic with caution. He now had nowhere to run, but that didn't mean he was going to take the shot willingly. So when the doctor motioned for his arm, he scooted away. "_Really,_ Scout?" he asked in an exasperated tone.

"Yeah."

Scout's voice was even more worn out, now. But he didn't care – all he wanted to do was get _out_. Medic reached for his arm again, and having no more room to scoot away, Scout resorted to trying to swat the German's hand away. Somehow, he wasn't sure how (or at least he would never admit to it), while doing so, he managed to 'accidentally' knock the syringe right out of the Medic's hand, and onto the floor, where it promptly shattered. Scout was about to laugh at the irony of it all, but then he took one look at the Medic's face, and soon that urge to laugh was gone. "...Sorry."

Medic didn't reply, at least not in words. He stalked back to the cabinet where he had gotten his supplies, and started shuffling through it again. As he did so, Scout got up and rushed to the door, searching his pockets for any sort of bobby pin to pick the lock. Unfortunately for him, he had no such thing, and Medic noticed before he could find one. "Sit back down, Scout," he commanded. Scout's only reply as he walked back was a groan of frustration.

Medic had obtained a new syringe, a slightly smaller one, but still just as intimidating in the Scout's eyes. He tried convincing himself into thinking that it wasn't going to be that bad, that it was just a shot, and nothing more. But one look at that needle, and all that self-comforting went out the door. So when Medic lifted the needle again, he instinctively jumped away and hid.

Though, the doctor's groan of frustration was much angrier than Scout had expected it to be. It made him want to hide even more. "Scout! Come out, now!"

He poked his head out from behind the bed, and immediately wanted to shrink back down. Medic came around and almost got a hold of him, but Scout changed his mind about staying put, and hopped right back over. He was about to run to the other side of the room and try to build up a fort of hospital beds as a barrier, but then the Medic's rage broke.

"Um Himmelswillen," he started as a murmur, which quickly grew into a shout. "Shtop being such a baby, and _take your damn medicine!_"

...

In the room, there was silence. Nobody coughed, nobody breathed, not even the doves could be heard cooing. Scout was terrified now, but for a different reason than before. He didn't think he could make Medic mad enough to actually flip out. Granted, he wasn't trying to, but he still didn't think he could do it. With a gulp down his sore throat, he slowly inched back to the bed he had hopped over previously and sat back down. Medic took a hold of Scout's arm much more forcefully than before, then proceeded to roll up his sleeve, dab alcohol on the spot, and quite literally jab the needle into his skin (or at least it felt that way). "Ow! Jesus flippin'..." Scout grunted loudly to end his exclamation.

The doctor ignored it, however, and yanked the needle out. He pulled a small band-aid from his pocket, and placed it over the puncture. "Zhere," he concluded in a forced calm manner. "Vas _zat_ so hard?"

Scout didn't answer, and experimentally prodded the puncture with his finger. He was definitely going to feel this tomorrow. "Can I go, now?" he asked in a rather weak sounding tone.

"Yes, get out of here."

Medic unlocked the doors, and Scout was never so happy to run out. A few seconds later, though, the runner came back, and peeked his head through the doors. Medic was still in there, cleaning up the fallen syringe from the floor.

"Hey Doc, is there any chance I could get one of your loli-"

"No."

"Awww... Why not?"

Medic turned to look at him. "I don't just _give_ zings out because you want zem," he explained with a slightly venomous tone. Then it soon turned into a lighter one. "Besides... aren't you a little _old_ for child briberies?"

Again, Scout's face felt hot with embarrassment. "S-so? Don't mean they ain't good..." he tried to explain himself.

Medic rolled his eyes, and held up the broken syringe. "How about zis: you pay for ze syringe you so carelessly **destroyed**..."

_'I said I was sorry... jeez...'_

"Und I'll... consider it. Nozhing more."

"Fine... I'll pay for your stupid syringe..." Scout gave in. He knew Medic wasn't going to let him live it down until he did, so he might as well try to get something for doing it. This put the smile back on the doctor's face.

"Good. Now, I believe I told you earlier to get out of here."

"Oh, uhm, right. Bye, Doc."

With that, the Scout closed the doors and exited to the hallway. Medic sighed and rolled his eyes, dropping the broken needle into the trash. He sat back down at his desk, and gave a quick once-over of everything. A couple of his doves landed in front of him, and made him smile a little. This entire simple encounter had become rather annoying in such a short time, and his pets had to watch the whole thing. He sighed, and stroked one of them behind the head with his finger, all the while reaching into his pocket for his key and unlocking a small drawer in his desk. In there were dozens of fruit-flavored lollipops, one of which he picked at random and stuck it in his mouth.

He rolled his eyes once again. Scout gave him that big of a headache, then had the nerve to ask him for one of _his_ candies? Maybe, the Medic decided, he'd give one to each of his other teammates except for the kid, and tell them all about his rather childish fear of doctors just to spite him. Yep, that seemed like a good plan.

* * *

**Thank you to Flagarach for fixing my German. "Um Himmelswillen" should now be the new, 'for Heaven's sake'.  
**

**I hope you liked it!**


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